The Center of Attention


You see people connected with others and wonder how they did that.  They don’t seem as if they would be travelling in the same circles or sharing any common interests.  How did they get there? According to University of Minnesota psychologist Mark Snyder, these people are considered “high self-monitoring.”  These people are quick to pick up on social cues and adjust their responses to the situation at hand.  According to Ori Brafman and Rom Brafman who wrote Click: The Magic of Instant Connections,  high self-monitors can use this to their benefits socially and professionally.

In social situations, these people can quickly become the center of attention at a party. According to studies, a high self-monitor will begin shaking their leg more frequently when sitting next to a person shaking their leg, a behavior called mirroring.  Most of us naturally gravitate to others who we perceive as being similar to us.
Ori and Rom also found that these high self-monitors were much more successful at work.  These people were typically became a core part of the team within 18 months on average, where low self-monitors had to endure an incredible 13 years to reach a similar level.  Proximity also matters.  They found that your chances of forming a close bond double when you have an office or desk close to another person.  According to their research, the more frequently you see someone face-to-face, the more you like that person.  Even when you don’t have a conversation with them!
As both Keith Ferrazzi and Mark Goulston have shared, you exposing a level of genuine vulnerability helps people click.  Keith shows the power of this during his keynotes where the audience is encouraged to get up, meet a stranger and share some intimate details of their lives.  Mark speaks of it in his book, Just Listen, where he tells people to “bare your neck.”  These vulnerabilities don’t make you fragile, they make you accessible.
If you’re interested in learning more about how to genuinely click with others, accelerate your career path and relate more easily to others, check out the following books:

‘Best Seller’ Marketing Team Winick & Whitlock To Help Authors Build a Platform

Peter Winick is a friend of mine. I met him a few years back in Vegas when he was working with Keith Ferrazzi, author of Never Eat Alone and Who’s Got Your Back (amazon affiliate links). Thankfully, he and I have been able to keep in contact. He’s worked with other incredible authors and speakers including my friends Jack Daly, Mark Goulston and Bob Bloom. He and Warren will be putting together a webinar that you need to consider if you’re an author that wants to build a sustainable platform. Below is the information from Warren’s site…

Book Marketing Strategists Warren Whitlock and Peter Winick announce a new value priced webinar series for authors who want to turn their content into self sustaining income streams while keeping cost inline.

“We have used webinars for clients to save on travel costs and get cost saving efficiencies, but I normally work one on one with my clients” said Whitlock. “Peter has done the same with some very large book and information product launches. However, we know there is a need for authors wanting this knowledge so we’ve come up with a program to combine our talents at a fraction of our costs. It’s our author stimulus package”

The Platform Roadmap Coaching Series is the least expensive way to engage the same top talent that millionaire and NY Times best selling authors rely on to focus not only on your book but to enable you to develop a business with multiple income streams such as keynote speaking, training, consulting and such.

The webinar series will be held in June with authors who are accepted into the program. The group will be large enough to lower costs, but much smaller than most online courses. Winick and Whitlock will supplement the webinars with private coaching to insure each other has a success.

Limited seats for new clients are available at

Peter Winick has over twenty years of experience and has worked with a variety of thought leaders. In addition, he has built and managed several consulting and professional development organizations.

Warren Whitlock has been a serial entrepreneur over the past 23 years, focusing on book marketing, authors, publishing and conversation strategies for social media. He is co-author of the first book on Twitter “Twitter Revolution: How Social Media and Mobile Marketing is Changing the Way We Do Business & Market Online”