Nan Palmero, MBA

Seeing Through People – Don’t Ignore High Performers

At TEDxSanAntonio, my friend Alicia Arenas shared her story about being a glass child. As she described, a glass child is one that has a special needs sibling. Glass children aren’t named such because they’re fragile, instead, the parents look through them like glass and focus their efforts primarily on the special needs child instead. The glass child then does the best he can without the attention and focus that the special needs child receives. It’s an interesting phenomenon because the glass child remains needing the attention. Be sure to check back at the TEDxSanAntonio site for Alicia’s presentation so you can hear her story.

An analogous situation to the glass child issue can crop up at work. As leaders in our offices, we have high performing team members that require less supervision and who seem to need us less. They don’t seem to ask for help, they complete their tasks in exemplary fashion, they often pull off the miraculous. For their efforts, they get a quick thank you, if that, and you move along to focus your efforts on the ones that need more attention. The ones you see untapped potential in, if they could just get their work done or show up to meetings on time.

Those that you see potential in still deserve your support and attention. The key is to cherish, develop and recognize they achievers as well. They can become glass men and women in your office because you don’t think they need. Remember, they want and thrive on your attention and efforts as well, so invest in them and reap the rewards from their accelerated growth as well.

photo by Andrew Mason

A Republic, If You Can Keep It. Go Vote.

Whether or not you believe that corporations are ruining our government and destroying our existence, you should go vote. No voting = no complaining. Do your part.

“Well, Doctor, what have we got—a Republic or a Monarchy?”
“A Republic, if you can keep it.”

The response is Benjamin Franklin’s when asked at the close of the Constitutional Convention of 1787.

If the noble and patriotic reasoning isn’t sufficient, check in on foursquare and do the following shout to earn a badge: #ivoted

Perfection Paralysis

High achievers can get caught up in the perfection of their work. “I don’t want to put my name on it unless it’s perfect.” Sound familiar? I’ve said it too. It’s easy to get paralyzed by perfection. You need the words to be just a little better in this email or you need the shot to pop just a bit more before rendering the video. Here’s the truth – people will notice that you didn’t ship your product but they might not notice the extra effort that you invested to meet your own level of perfection.

Sometimes, your level of perfection is important. It can be critical…if you’re a brain surgeon. For the rest of the population, choose to avoid the perfection paralysis and ship your product instead. Do great work and ship. Get better on each iteration of your product and notice what people comment on and care about instead. This will be a much more valuable use of your time and you’ll have something to show for all your hard work.

Can You See The Future?

When you speak to one of your employees or coworkers, you have a choice. You know these people are growing, as we all are. You decide daily whether you recognize the people that you are speaking to as they are right now or as you know who they can and will be.

Choosing to recognize these people as the people you know they can be builds your team. Additionally, it helps craft those people’s self view. This will stretch them and allow them to become the person and team member you know they can be and develop into something greater. That person may already have a great view of who they are and you helped bolster it.

If they’re like the rest of us, your encouragement and future focus of them as a person may be precisely what they need to continue growing because no one is speaking positively in their lives. Today, choose to see the people around you as the future version of themselves. You’ll make their lives and yours better along the way.

The Difference Between Agreement and Commitment

A Los Angeles police officer wrapped up a morning meeting where they were reminded on the importance of wearing their bulletproof vests. Everyone in the room nodded their head in agreement, understanding the importance of a bulletproof vest and how it can save your life.

Later that day, one of the officers was called to serve an arrest warrant on a drug dealer in the area. As the officer called out “POLICE!” and kicked in the door, four shots were fired and one sunk into the chest of the officer. He was dead shortly after hitting the ground. He left behind a wife and children and his bulletproof vest in the trunk of his car.

I’ve heard this story a few times and found it fit to repeat it. We frequently find ourselves in agreement with our company’s initiatives, requests that friends and family make and needs that our community requests from us. Sure, you may understand them mentally, but do you have the conviction to see these things through? The officer likely found the vest cumbersome and uncomfortable. On any given day, it would have been understandable not to wear it. There are a thousand reasons not to do so.

Choosing to wear the vest day in and day out is what separated this officer from his life. It could be what’s separating you from the success you’re hoping to experience.

I struggle with my bulletproof vest as well. To counteract my excuses, I look to surround myself with people who challenge me. It’s the people who convict me and ask me if I’m wearing my vest. I don’t want to let them down. If you don’t have perfect self control (I DON’T!), have an accountability partner to help you see it through. It’s worth the trouble.

Do you have the conviction to put on your bulletproof vest?

Rerouting Your Life | Interview with Dave Peckens

I’m a lucky guy. People contact me regularly because they need someone to talk to about changing jobs. These are people from all walks of life – older, younger, educated and not, those with “dream jobs” and those looking for a better life. We sit down either face-to-face, via phone or Skype and talk about their dreams and how they can take another step in achieving them. Dave Peckens and I have never met in person, but we’ve been in close contact for about a year or so where we share life. Dave’s outside of Detroit and remains a big dreamer – I see him as a super dad, a person that cares about the rebirth of Detroit and a passionate guy about his career. I asked Dave to share his progress with me and how he’s moved the needle.

What do you do to pay the bills?

I have been doing some form of technology support for over 15 years. Although this is not what I went to college for, it has always paid the bills nicely. In the past I’ve done everything from professional acting to pizza maker.

What happened a year ago to change your mind about who you wanted to be when you grew up?

When I grow up? I doubt that will ever happen, but since you’ve asked …
I’ve always been chasing the “what I want to be when I grow up” idea. As a child I never had any “active” support from my family, so I never pushed ambitions very far. Taking my years of tech support knowledge and flipping that into a freelance business was a natural progression. Plus it helps me spend more time doing what I love… being with my wife and children. And I still plan to open a pizzeria/bar restaurant some day.

What steps did you take to change your life?

I simply reached out to my network and asked “What do you see the Dave Peckens brand as”? And for years I’ve had multiple side projects in the wings waiting for some spotlight. The majority of the feedback received pointed to the BlackBerry and my flair for sharing mobile technology tips and tricks with people. So I took the corporate class I had been leading called the “BlackBerry Users Group” and took it public. The response has certainly kept me and my BlackBerryology business hopping.

What were some of the struggles that you faced in making this change?

When I started booking more consulting work it not only interfered with family time, but also my day job. What I have learned from this is how to best manage my time, to clearly understand the client’s needs, and to over-deliver on what is expected. Getting the word out and actually keeping freelance work consistent was also a challenge, but over time the positive testimonials and referrals have helped push this project forward.

What are some successes you’ve encountered?

I’m presently in the final round of the CrackBerry Idol competition on CrackBerry.com, an American Idol-type of contest where the contestants are voted on by the public, but here, instead of singing, we are writing BlackBerry review blog posts. Also, in terms of direct mobile technology consultation, I have repeatedly booked the same clients and that list continues to grow. It seems there is a thirst for this type of knowledge and delivery. (Dave won CrackBerry Idol)

How are things progressing?

I expect to have a new website launching soon. It will be more directly focused on marketing the services I offer.

What’s next for you?

Bottom line is to continue helping clients when and where I can, all while supporting my family both financially and emotionally. It’s a continual balancing act.

How can people support your continued path to success?

Winning that contest would be killer! (a good thing). Also, as I enjoy sharing knowledge and solving tough mobile tech issues, feel free to contact me (http://davepeckens.com) with your troublesome experiences. And when I finally open the doors to “Dave’s Pizza Emporium” come on down to enjoy a slice and beer!

—

A big thank you to Dave!

You may think you’re too far into your career, too far in debt or just too far gone to work towards what you want. I hope sharing Dave’s story will help you reconsider this position. If you take small steps daily, you can see exciting new things in your life, too. The first thing you need to do is decide that it is true.

Damage in San Antonio, TX from Tropical Storm Hermine

Tropical Storm Hermine brought the fury in San Antonio, TX on September 7, 2010. Power outages around the Quarry area were likely linked to this tree that was taken out on Sunset near Jones Maltsberger.

High resolution photos available on Flickr.

Map of area

View Larger Map

Filtering Feedbacks and Attacks

Reading through Dr. Mark Goulston’s blog posts, I noticed a piece about independence. He explains that the successful people he coaches have the follow three attributes in common: self-reliance, resourcefulness and coachability.

Many of us will take on additional responsibility and we’ll look for ways to leverage resources but we miss out on these high levels of success because we miss out on “coachability.” Mark describes it as a person who can “seek, listen to and act upon solid, relevant input from others.”

The difficulty lies in separating attacks from people that look to tear you down, that quiet little voice inside your head telling you that you’re not good enough to move up to the next level and those people that provide you the encouragement and the feedback you need to take the next step towards greatness. Oftentimes, trying to block all the feedback feels like a safer route. We end up with the “I can do it myself, I don’t want to hear it” attitude, then we wonder how we got there. We become 16 again. Instead, opt to redouble your efforts and sharpen your filters to allow you to recognize the difference between poisonous comments that lead to toxic thoughts and valuable feedback that helps you grow and become better. Even people that care about you can provide either of these. Remain vigilant.

The Center of Attention

You see people connected with others and wonder how they did that. They don’t seem as if they would be travelling in the same circles or sharing any common interests. How did they get there? According to University of Minnesota psychologist Mark Snyder, these people are considered “high self-monitoring.” These people are quick to pick up on social cues and adjust their responses to the situation at hand. According to Ori Brafman and Rom Brafman who wrote Click: The Magic of Instant Connections, high self-monitors can use this to their benefits socially and professionally.

In social situations, these people can quickly become the center of attention at a party. According to studies, a high self-monitor will begin shaking their leg more frequently when sitting next to a person shaking their leg, a behavior called mirroring. Most of us naturally gravitate to others who we perceive as being similar to us.

Ori and Rom also found that these high self-monitors were much more successful at work. These people were typically became a core part of the team within 18 months on average, where low self-monitors had to endure an incredible 13 years to reach a similar level. Proximity also matters. They found that your chances of forming a close bond double when you have an office or desk close to another person. According to their research, the more frequently you see someone face-to-face, the more you like that person. Even when you don’t have a conversation with them!

As both Keith Ferrazzi and Mark Goulston have shared, you exposing a level of genuine vulnerability helps people click. Keith shows the power of this during his keynotes where the audience is encouraged to get up, meet a stranger and share some intimate details of their lives. Mark speaks of it in his book, Just Listen, where he tells people to “bare your neck.” These vulnerabilities don’t make you fragile, they make you accessible.

If you’re interested in learning more about how to genuinely click with others, accelerate your career path and relate more easily to others, check out the following books:

Click: The Magic of Instant Connections

Who’s Got Your Back

Just Listen

The Battle Between Laziness & Gratitude

No man is an island…Well, maybe Roy Bragg. Other than Roy, the rest of us depend on others. Sometimes with large needs and sometimes with the trivial. Wrapped with our needs is busyness. We have our friends and family with us, the phone ringing, the email inbox filling up and the social network messages piling up. Amongst all these people vying for your attention there have been those people who have helped you, both near and far. How do we thank them? Typically, you’ll see a cheap and embarrassing “ty!” or “thx!” After my conversation with the caring Liz Strauss a few years back in Vegas, I try to never say “thanks” but use the full “thank you” instead. It feels more meaningful, there’s less chance that someone can read it sarcastically online and I don’t lose that much time for including the word “you.”

I’d like to call for the end of these poor abbreviations. If someone has helped you, wait until you have a moment and truly thank them for what they’ve done. Try a “Thank you so much for <fill in the blank with specifics>.” Something to the extent of “Thank you so much for turning your cap backwards and arm wrestling for my honor, you saved our relationship. I really appreciate it.” or “Thank you tremendously for hitting 88 miles per hour and sending me back to good ol’ 1985. I couldn’t have made it home without you.” All joking aside, consider your social graces, especially when trying to convey your appreciation with electronic devices. Let your gratitude shine through in the large and small.

Thank you for the photo hellojenuine