Nan Palmero, MBA

Can You See The Future?

When you speak to one of your employees or coworkers, you have a choice. You know these people are growing, as we all are. You decide daily whether you recognize the people that you are speaking to as they are right now or as you know who they can and will be.

Choosing to recognize these people as the people you know they can be builds your team. Additionally, it helps craft those people’s self view. This will stretch them and allow them to become the person and team member you know they can be and develop into something greater. That person may already have a great view of who they are and you helped bolster it.

If they’re like the rest of us, your encouragement and future focus of them as a person may be precisely what they need to continue growing because no one is speaking positively in their lives. Today, choose to see the people around you as the future version of themselves. You’ll make their lives and yours better along the way.

The Difference Between Agreement and Commitment

A Los Angeles police officer wrapped up a morning meeting where they were reminded on the importance of wearing their bulletproof vests. Everyone in the room nodded their head in agreement, understanding the importance of a bulletproof vest and how it can save your life.

Later that day, one of the officers was called to serve an arrest warrant on a drug dealer in the area. As the officer called out “POLICE!” and kicked in the door, four shots were fired and one sunk into the chest of the officer. He was dead shortly after hitting the ground. He left behind a wife and children and his bulletproof vest in the trunk of his car.

I’ve heard this story a few times and found it fit to repeat it. We frequently find ourselves in agreement with our company’s initiatives, requests that friends and family make and needs that our community requests from us. Sure, you may understand them mentally, but do you have the conviction to see these things through? The officer likely found the vest cumbersome and uncomfortable. On any given day, it would have been understandable not to wear it. There are a thousand reasons not to do so.

Choosing to wear the vest day in and day out is what separated this officer from his life. It could be what’s separating you from the success you’re hoping to experience.

I struggle with my bulletproof vest as well. To counteract my excuses, I look to surround myself with people who challenge me. It’s the people who convict me and ask me if I’m wearing my vest. I don’t want to let them down. If you don’t have perfect self control (I DON’T!), have an accountability partner to help you see it through. It’s worth the trouble.

Do you have the conviction to put on your bulletproof vest?

Rerouting Your Life | Interview with Dave Peckens

I’m a lucky guy. People contact me regularly because they need someone to talk to about changing jobs. These are people from all walks of life – older, younger, educated and not, those with “dream jobs” and those looking for a better life. We sit down either face-to-face, via phone or Skype and talk about their dreams and how they can take another step in achieving them. Dave Peckens and I have never met in person, but we’ve been in close contact for about a year or so where we share life. Dave’s outside of Detroit and remains a big dreamer – I see him as a super dad, a person that cares about the rebirth of Detroit and a passionate guy about his career. I asked Dave to share his progress with me and how he’s moved the needle.

What do you do to pay the bills?

I have been doing some form of technology support for over 15 years. Although this is not what I went to college for, it has always paid the bills nicely. In the past I’ve done everything from professional acting to pizza maker.

What happened a year ago to change your mind about who you wanted to be when you grew up?

When I grow up? I doubt that will ever happen, but since you’ve asked …
I’ve always been chasing the “what I want to be when I grow up” idea. As a child I never had any “active” support from my family, so I never pushed ambitions very far. Taking my years of tech support knowledge and flipping that into a freelance business was a natural progression. Plus it helps me spend more time doing what I love… being with my wife and children. And I still plan to open a pizzeria/bar restaurant some day.

What steps did you take to change your life?

I simply reached out to my network and asked “What do you see the Dave Peckens brand as”? And for years I’ve had multiple side projects in the wings waiting for some spotlight. The majority of the feedback received pointed to the BlackBerry and my flair for sharing mobile technology tips and tricks with people. So I took the corporate class I had been leading called the “BlackBerry Users Group” and took it public. The response has certainly kept me and my BlackBerryology business hopping.

What were some of the struggles that you faced in making this change?

When I started booking more consulting work it not only interfered with family time, but also my day job. What I have learned from this is how to best manage my time, to clearly understand the client’s needs, and to over-deliver on what is expected. Getting the word out and actually keeping freelance work consistent was also a challenge, but over time the positive testimonials and referrals have helped push this project forward.

What are some successes you’ve encountered?

I’m presently in the final round of the CrackBerry Idol competition on CrackBerry.com, an American Idol-type of contest where the contestants are voted on by the public, but here, instead of singing, we are writing BlackBerry review blog posts. Also, in terms of direct mobile technology consultation, I have repeatedly booked the same clients and that list continues to grow. It seems there is a thirst for this type of knowledge and delivery. (Dave won CrackBerry Idol)

How are things progressing?

I expect to have a new website launching soon. It will be more directly focused on marketing the services I offer.

What’s next for you?

Bottom line is to continue helping clients when and where I can, all while supporting my family both financially and emotionally. It’s a continual balancing act.

How can people support your continued path to success?

Winning that contest would be killer! (a good thing). Also, as I enjoy sharing knowledge and solving tough mobile tech issues, feel free to contact me (http://davepeckens.com) with your troublesome experiences. And when I finally open the doors to “Dave’s Pizza Emporium” come on down to enjoy a slice and beer!

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A big thank you to Dave!

You may think you’re too far into your career, too far in debt or just too far gone to work towards what you want. I hope sharing Dave’s story will help you reconsider this position. If you take small steps daily, you can see exciting new things in your life, too. The first thing you need to do is decide that it is true.

Filtering Feedbacks and Attacks

Reading through Dr. Mark Goulston’s blog posts, I noticed a piece about independence. He explains that the successful people he coaches have the follow three attributes in common: self-reliance, resourcefulness and coachability.

Many of us will take on additional responsibility and we’ll look for ways to leverage resources but we miss out on these high levels of success because we miss out on “coachability.” Mark describes it as a person who can “seek, listen to and act upon solid, relevant input from others.”

The difficulty lies in separating attacks from people that look to tear you down, that quiet little voice inside your head telling you that you’re not good enough to move up to the next level and those people that provide you the encouragement and the feedback you need to take the next step towards greatness. Oftentimes, trying to block all the feedback feels like a safer route. We end up with the “I can do it myself, I don’t want to hear it” attitude, then we wonder how we got there. We become 16 again. Instead, opt to redouble your efforts and sharpen your filters to allow you to recognize the difference between poisonous comments that lead to toxic thoughts and valuable feedback that helps you grow and become better. Even people that care about you can provide either of these. Remain vigilant.

The Center of Attention

You see people connected with others and wonder how they did that. They don’t seem as if they would be travelling in the same circles or sharing any common interests. How did they get there? According to University of Minnesota psychologist Mark Snyder, these people are considered “high self-monitoring.” These people are quick to pick up on social cues and adjust their responses to the situation at hand. According to Ori Brafman and Rom Brafman who wrote Click: The Magic of Instant Connections, high self-monitors can use this to their benefits socially and professionally.

In social situations, these people can quickly become the center of attention at a party. According to studies, a high self-monitor will begin shaking their leg more frequently when sitting next to a person shaking their leg, a behavior called mirroring. Most of us naturally gravitate to others who we perceive as being similar to us.

Ori and Rom also found that these high self-monitors were much more successful at work. These people were typically became a core part of the team within 18 months on average, where low self-monitors had to endure an incredible 13 years to reach a similar level. Proximity also matters. They found that your chances of forming a close bond double when you have an office or desk close to another person. According to their research, the more frequently you see someone face-to-face, the more you like that person. Even when you don’t have a conversation with them!

As both Keith Ferrazzi and Mark Goulston have shared, you exposing a level of genuine vulnerability helps people click. Keith shows the power of this during his keynotes where the audience is encouraged to get up, meet a stranger and share some intimate details of their lives. Mark speaks of it in his book, Just Listen, where he tells people to “bare your neck.” These vulnerabilities don’t make you fragile, they make you accessible.

If you’re interested in learning more about how to genuinely click with others, accelerate your career path and relate more easily to others, check out the following books:

Click: The Magic of Instant Connections

Who’s Got Your Back

Just Listen

Learning from Everyone

Last Saturday, National Council of La Raza’s (NCLR) Annual Conference came to San Antonio. I had the pleasure of volunteering with some of my BMPR pals. We volunteered to be citizen journalists as well as teach social media to anyone during the conference. In my first interview I met a well-kept man in his mid 30’s named Felix. Felix explained to me that he had recently lost his job and was hoping to learn some computer skills at the conference. His mother had suggested that he come.

As quickly as we wrapped the interview, I put my nerd hat on and we walked over to the computer table. I asked Felix what he knew about computers so I wouldn’t be duplicating his knowledge. He says “I know how to type.” As we sat down, he explained that he’s typically worked as a server and dishwasher in different venues around town. He brought a notepad that he promptly took out for note taking. The conversation went like this:

Me: Felix, are you familiar with Google? Do you have an email address?

Felix: I’ve heard of Google and no, I don’t have an email address. Honestly, I don’t know what button to press to turn on a computer.

I showed Felix that most power button logos had been standardized, taught him how to get online, search on Google, set up a Gmail account and how to look at maps on Google. He took notes about it all.

Felix, though, didn’t realize he was teaching me as well. He reminded me to not take our knowledge and the ability to acquire it for granted. His childlike wonder was uplifting as I taught him how to change a route on Google Maps. He was amazed when I explained that you could email around the world without charge. Felix exhibited an appreciation for our time together, for the knowledge he had taken in, a true fascination for the technology that so many people have taken for granted (me included). I looked at those traits and felt a bit embarrassed for merely expecting these things in my life. So, thank you Felix, you taught me more than I expected to learn that day, especially since you thought you were the only one learning. I’ll work to live my life with a bit more childlike wonder and appreciation for the tools and education available to me.

“In my walks, every man I meet is my superior in some way, and in that I learn from him.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

My View on the Burns, Bacsik, Bowen Issue

shame mask — Shame Mask - Rothenburg Torture Museum

During a recent Spurs game, Mike Bacsik (@mikebacsik) wrote despicable tweets that would make most people cringe. Today, Peter Burns (@peterburnsradio) and Bruce Bowen (@bowen12) hosted Mike to talk about the situation. Unfortunately, the discussion between Bruce and Peter turned sour. Each was passionate about their position. Mike was wrong, undoubtedly, and some suggest that Bruce and/or Peter was/were also wrong.

I know that I’ve been wrong before in the past, even if it was just once, and I’ve said and done things that I wish I could take back. I know though that I’ve been forgiven. I’d like to ask you to forgive Mike and if you think Bruce was wrong and/or Peter was wrong, forgive them as well. Check out Colossians 3:13-14 (MSG) – 13 Be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you.14 And regardless of what else you put on, wear love. It’s your basic, all-purpose garment. Never be without it.

One day, I’ll certainly be asking for your forgiveness and I hope you’ll extend it to me. I look forward to being able to do the same back to you. It makes the world a better place because love beats anger, hate, frustration, fill in the blank – every time. So, forgive that person that’s wronged you; show them love instead. Lead the way and teach your enemy how to forgive.

The Alamo City Rollergirls Taught Me A Lesson

Sunday night, Ashley and I attended our first roller derby bout with the Alamo City Rollergirls – Las Tejanas (@acrollergirls) against the Beaumont Spindletops with a number of our good friends from BMPR. The Rollercade looks as if it has been the same for the past forty or so years, with a new coat of paint here and there and some neon lights added for additional effect. The design was classic roller skating facility and the feel of the building was stale.

Magically, though, the air was electric. There was a line of people waiting to get in the door while the teams greeted fans outside. As the track was prepped with tape to denote the boundaries on the rink, fans poured in to take their places. The announcers took their places, with one of them dressed as a skeleton and making her voice sound like a cross between Dave Chappelle as Rick James and one of the barbers from Coming to America.

The teams are wildly passionate about winning – they train numerous times per week for two to three hours per day all while holding down a day job as well. Each has their roller derby name and persona. These women are dedicated to their sport and their fans are dedicated to them. The gasps, “oooohs” and “aaaahhhhs” when they make a great hit, take a tough tumble or the cheers when they score are incredible.

For these tough ladies it’s not about the money, the great office, the fancy titles (the cool names help), the logos and anything else that seems to be what matters in the rest of the world. Here, these women are duking it out for the love of the game. They can only win if they play together, because if they don’t, there won’t be a person to block nor a person to score. The passion to move forward as a group allows them to take on the toughest challenges with direction from there coach. Can you look at your office and say they work as well as these women? Are you doing enough to coach them all to a victory? Try focusing on your people this week to move them all in the same direction at the same time together and see what you can accomplish.

A big thank you to the Alamo City Rollergirls – Las Tejanas for hosting us and congratulations on their first home bout win of the season!

You’re the Worst, I Have Proof

Have you ever been told “that person can do no wrong in your eyes” or “give the guy another chance, he’s a really nice person”? This past week I found out that those preconceived notions have a name: Hypothesis Bias or Confirmation Bias. In the case of someone you may not like, you’ll look for comments, actions and intonations to help support your reason for not liking that said person. On the other hand, for a person that you’re fond of, you’ll easily gloss over flaws and mistakes simply because that person is held in high esteem.

The trouble comes when there are people with whom you deal with at the office (and at home, but that’s for a different blog) that may have made a mistake or gotten cross ways with you in the past. You’re now carrying your Hypothesis Bias with you and potentially pre-punishing that employee or coworker for past grievances. Today, determine who that person is that is receiving the effects of your negative Hypothesis Bias, grab the mental sheet of paper where you’re keeping a list of all the things you don’t like and why you’re entitled to those feelings, fold it up as a paper airplane and toss it out. Now, whip out a bright white sheet of blank paper and start over with that person.

Your Hypothesis Bias may have been preventing you from a great associate and *gasp* potentially a friend whom you had previously dismissed. Come back and share how it’s going!

The Best Annual Reviews

I received a call this week from a close friend regarding her annual review. She described how her boss explained to her that they really liked how dependable and trustworthy she was in her position. The quality of her work is of the highest caliber. Her boss then explained that he felt that she needed to do more work – she needed to take on more projects and more responsibilities. He felt as if she hadn’t been doing enough. Cue the sinking feeling.

The issue is one that Aubrey C. Daniels, Ph.D., knows well. Dr. Daniels is the author of OOPS!

13 Management Practices That Waste Time & Money (and what to do instead). As he describes, the annual performance review is loathed by both employees and managers who have to perform them. He further finds that taking the annual review, a bad process, and turning it into a quarterly review just makes it four times worse per year! Instead, Dr. Daniels suggests that you create measures for the team around what you’d like for them to do, then have a way of continuously measuring against those metrics so they know how well they’re doing.

These constant adjustments and comparisons to the metrics will help you manage your team and maximize their productivity. Dr. Daniels suggests that at the same time, the surprises of not meeting expectations or goals will be minimized because of the communications the manager is having with his or her employees.

Consider the way you and/or your managers communicate their goals and the frequency in which they do so. A more frequent communication with your team will likely help both you and them achieve the right goals in the proper timeline. Additionally, changing course won’t be quite as painful because the communications have been happening along the way. See more about what Dr. Daniels has to say about annual reviews below.